“Not everyone gets the same version of me. One person might tell you I'm an amazing beautiful soul. Another person will say I'm a cold-hearted asshole. Believe them both, I act accordingly.”
Let me make a clear view on how I settle my relationship problems lately..
First,
Being single means I'm in the safe zone. I don't have to think much about stuffs I have to take care or even thinking what mojo should I brought them on that particular day. It's not that I care less about them special days but I just have much more important things to think about: my future, my family, my assignments, etc etc. Plus, I'm sick of giving advice and them only take it for granted - listen, do the opposite thing, apologize, and me sighing - What the hell?
Secondly,
I learned best from experiences. Sometimes I just put my trust on the try and error game. There are lots of options I have to make and my intuition has always made a fool out of me. I did that and wrong buzzer called for me, I took the other end... and if I ended being at the same destination, I'll just say 'Cut the crap, life just sucks!' and move on. You see, maybe all the problems came out of me. Maybe the choice I made of giving them 100% freedom is a mistake. Maybe I should have hogged them more and say things I dislike often.
Next,
I don't have a car nor an expensive watch to be put on like other guys. I live on an idyll place and I should have told them that first. My prefers are more to preserving simplicity and live as who I am. I don't wear diamond coated mask so them will dig me. Seriously, is there anyone who live independently to know simple me-thing about this? Do I really need to occupy my wallet just to attract them attention? My loss then!
LOL, it's not that I took this privately (as can be seen by now) but things just get so messed up. I love watching dramas of course but dislike when I'm part of it. Them set me up for dramas, I'll cut the tape and roll it to the end. I don't care how much it'll affect my life, I just hate to live my days with me making immature actions and regret them for the rest of my life.
And as for now,
I think I'm comfortable being in this safe zone. Although my ex keeps texting me, it doesn't bother me much. I'll reply if I have to and vice versa. And if I was to be blamed for everything I haven't done, then let them be. We can all lie to our self, but we will never run away from the real truth.