“Not everyone gets the same version of me. One person might tell you I'm an amazing beautiful soul. Another person will say I'm a cold-hearted asshole. Believe them both, I act accordingly.”
I woke up too early today. If I was to be at home right now, I'll probably be sleeping still. Anyway, there's nothing much to do this day. It's the first weekend of the first term and assignments haven't been distributed just yet. I've been listening to this song over and over again. My friend recommend this album to me and I ended up loving some of the songs. Here is one of them I thought most motivating.
DIA FRAMPTON LYRICS
"Don't Kick The Chair"
(feat. Kid Cudi)
Have you ever felt like everybody’s watching Waiting for you to lose Have you ever felt like you’re living in a spot light Searching for the real you Tell me have you ever woken up Just to wish you could close your eyes Getting hard to find a friend in a city like this Where you can’t even trust a smile
[Pre Chorus:] There are lonely nights when you see no hope And you’re feeling short of breath Like a whole damn world is a braided rope In a noose around your neck
[Chorus:] Don’t kick the chair It’s gonna get better Don’t kick the chair It can only get better
Have you ever felt love, really really felt love The kind that could save a life But right before you know it you find out in a moment You’re gonna have to say goodbye
[Pre Chorus:] There are lonely nights when you see no hope And you’re feeling short of breath Like a whole damn world is a braided rope In a noose around your neck
[Chorus:] Don’t kick the chair It’s gonna get better Don’t kick the chair It can only get better
[Kid Cudi:] Yep yep you know If I can make it through then you can to Yep yep I’m good focus like always Feels like I’ve been hit hit hit by ten brick walls Some people like just sit sit around and wait for you to fall Then bounce back way quicker than you fell down Laugh in their face like what See nothing can break me No no no no listen
If you gotta think twice about life, Something really ain't right You don't need no help, You can be better all by yourself You can be better all by yourself You can be better all by yourself You can be better all by yourself
[Chorus:] Don’t kick the chair It’s gonna get better Don’t kick the chair It can only get better
Don’t kick the chair (Yep Yep, you know...You can be better all by yourself) It’s gonna get better (Yep Yep, I'm good) Don’t kick the chair (Yep Yep, you know...You can be better all by yourself) It can only get better
As we can read and understand, sometimes destruction may drop into our mind whenever we met obstacles. This song is to advise us as if everything is going to be better later. I might found myself in the same situation as the above person. Although I don't really quite find myself as a destructive person, but I sometimes felt as if my life is to be over. I don't met my problems just in case it'll be solved soon after. Well, seems like I just need to be strong and patient. Rainbows only happen when it's raining you know.
This week went by so fast as I expected I want it to be! I want my colleagues life to end faster. This might be because of my homesickness disease. I'm just tired of everything. It usually took at least 2 weeks before I stop asking myself "What have I done last week?". I know my home memories is hard to be forgotten so as the moments I counted my holidays to end. I need to live and this isn't it. Sometimes, watching the sun set is making my breath weight so much. I just can't stop but to memorize what have I done the week before crystal clear.
There's another 3 weeks before I'll be starting my 2nd phase practicum. My friends and I were visiting the home we'll be staying this phase and I doubt if I can survive in that place. It's near the sea though but shits just hard to be accepted. I'll manage. Practicum is the only moments in here I thought I'll be escaping from the tormenting days of lectures. I look forward the term as another different blissful one where we are to learn literary from the lecturers and not just by the meant of having topics to be discussed on and present it in front of the class for this whole term. Seriously, presentation is not actually a good way to teach when all you have to do is to give your students all the topics to be learned and sit there behind the class listening and criticizing every hard works your students have done. This is common in my colleague. I cherish this term to be different and so far it met my expectation. This come from the word of a student who cares much about his education and future career.
I talk to much. I miss home. I just miss holidays.