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ON MY OWN
Tuesday, October 16, 2012 | 10/16/2012 05:27:00 PM |

Listening to Try by Ashley Brook has made me realize that I’m getting closer to the end. My friend said I’m only fond to bluesy and sentimental song and I admitted that: I’m only good in reflecting myself if sad song comes to my hearing (or more to heart). Realizing that I’ve spent almost 4 years of my life here is not that long (I thought) and now I still have this whole year to suffer this would might be a miracle that I can really survive. Now that I have limited time yet I barely plan to enjoy everything left. This is surely a surprise for I’m not that kind of person. I accept being parted with something (or someone) I labeled as a drop in place (posted about this before). I know I’m getting more and more distracted by my life event recently but that wasn’t really a burden. I judged people lesser realizing that I don’t want to be judged. Although some of my friends might think as if my world is revolving around them, I cherish every little bit of my own here.
Having another year round means lesser time for me to overcome my smoking addiction. Yes, I made a vow that I should be back to black in 2013. Everything should be back into the older me (as I love my past and I still want to become my past self). I hate smoking… This is absurd for a smoker but I really do hate smoking. I smoke not because I deal better with my stress with it but because of my body needs for the drug and that should be pointless because I have this strong feeling that I will never even touch that thing one day. Having a stronger determination to quit is better (I think) rather than not even trying.
And now, there’s another 3 weeks before my holiday and I haven’t planned anything just yet. I’m so excited to be back home I can’t even think one on what to do. Maybe sharing stories of life should make the point of my holiday. I want to meet my family so badly for thing were so complicated here. I miss the fishes back at home. I miss my dogs and of course my cats (haven’t really aware of their numbers) and going back would be interesting if I can meet my new friend I met last December (Can’t even imagine that one – LOL). Yeah not forgetting my bike too… Talking about my goodie old bike, I’m planning to have my own driving license this year-end. This is just a plan but I’m looking forward to have one. I’m getting older and I need something to rely on: my own!

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