“Not everyone gets the same version of me. One person might tell you I'm an amazing beautiful soul. Another person will say I'm a cold-hearted asshole. Believe them both, I act accordingly.”
Listening to Try by
Ashley Brook has made me realize that I’m getting closer to the end. My friend
said I’m only fond to bluesy and sentimental song and I admitted that: I’m only
good in reflecting myself if sad song comes to my hearing (or more to heart).
Realizing that I’ve spent almost 4 years of my life here is not that long (I
thought) and now I still have this whole year to suffer this would might be a
miracle that I can really survive. Now that I have limited time yet I barely
plan to enjoy everything left. This is surely a surprise for I’m not that kind
of person. I accept being parted with something (or someone) I labeled as a
drop in place (posted about this before). I know I’m getting more and more
distracted by my life event recently but that wasn’t really a burden. I judged
people lesser realizing that I don’t want to be judged. Although some of my
friends might think as if my world is revolving around them, I cherish every
little bit of my own here.
Having another year
round means lesser time for me to overcome my smoking addiction. Yes, I made a
vow that I should be back to black in 2013. Everything should be back into the
older me (as I love my past and I still want to become my past self). I hate
smoking… This is absurd for a smoker but I really do hate smoking. I smoke not
because I deal better with my stress with it but because of my body needs for
the drug and that should be pointless because I have this strong feeling that I
will never even touch that thing one day. Having a stronger determination to
quit is better (I think) rather than not even trying.
And now, there’s
another 3 weeks before my holiday and I haven’t planned anything just yet. I’m
so excited to be back home I can’t even think one on what to do. Maybe sharing
stories of life should make the point of my holiday. I want to meet my family
so badly for thing were so complicated here. I miss the fishes back at home. I
miss my dogs and of course my cats (haven’t really aware of their numbers) and
going back would be interesting if I can meet my new friend I met last December
(Can’t even imagine that one – LOL). Yeah not forgetting my bike too… Talking
about my goodie old bike, I’m planning to have my own driving license this
year-end. This is just a plan but I’m looking forward to have one. I’m getting
older and I need something to rely on: my own!