“Not everyone gets the same version of me. One person might tell you I'm an amazing beautiful soul. Another person will say I'm a cold-hearted asshole. Believe them both, I act accordingly.”
Wednesday, November 21, 2012@11/21/2012 04:59:00 AM
I have jealousy yes I do. I'm managing it and the only way to cope with shits like this is to keep everything down low. No one likes me when I get jealous because I'll eventually turn into a 100%ly crappy irrational bastard. Well at least I said that... I have the interest to stalk you; your profile, your daily events.. your everything... but seeing someone flirting on you? Hell that's a torture... and even worse if you're playing that game along. How am I suppose to feel when I saw that? (and this is the second time I've posted something like this after one 3 years earlier)... Can flirting be accepted in my relationship? NO! Am I mad right now? Hell yeah! I'm so sorry I've decided to 'feel uninterested' to stalk your profile but I just hate dramas and stuffs. I hate myself when I get jealous and probably you should too. I don't want to put you in my shoes cause I know how does it feel to be 'seemingly' betrayed with words and utterance I know hard to be acted. Please listen to yourself when you talk. These are rude... I don't expect you to read this cause I don't want to hurt your feeling but please understand I have my own too. I'm not a robot who can just sit around and watch you sharing erotic thing with your friends (or strangers). Unfortunately I'm no good at that... you should be thankful I don't know how to do so. But if I do, it won't even come across in this state of my mind to do something harmful for the sake of my own relationship. I'm being serious but if being serious doesn't mean anything to you, I'm ready to take shits for granted... I'll sacrifice my feelings just to save the cost of our relationship. We're far enough for me to think if 'somehow I'm still thinking if I'm ready for you'. I don't think I've made a mistake but please try to understand.
I'm tired of posting the same thing over and over again. What makes it even more sad is to think how long I've survived not being jealous enough and what did it cost me? My very own relationship. I'm sorry I'm being irrational but I think this would be the first time I can barely accept your action. I'm ready to enter a wild world where I can be exactly like one who spares much time enjoying shits. Don't get my attitude confused, cause my attitude actually depends on how I'm being treated!
... and that's the reason I wouldn't notice anything much abut your posts. I just don't want to feel hurt all by myself. You were so cool when we first dated but you keep getting back to where you are. I thought this relationship would change you but no... I don't blame you for being who you are... but I just need respect. Tell me things you suppose you can do, not vice versa. If you need to be trusted, gain it - not just by words but actions.