26 September, and Christmas Is Here Again

I don't think I have forgotten my little Christmas tradition of starting to feel Christmas every 26 September, if I remember the date correctly. I have been doing this for years now, and somehow the feeling always comes back around this time of the year. I remember it quite clearly, although I think I started feeling it a little earlier this year. There was that familiar something in the air, the kind that makes me think of Christmas even when there are still so many weeks left before December arrives.

I actually wanted to write about it when the feeling first came, but I was so busy with everything else that I never really had the time to sit down and put it into words. And now it is already October, yet the feeling has stayed with me all this time. Perhaps that is how I know it is really here. It doesn't disappear just because I have other things to do. It lingers somewhere in the background, waiting for me to have a little time for it again.

The weather seems to be joining in too. It has been raining, and there is something about the coldness that makes the days feel a little different. I know I am still here in Malaysia, nowhere near the winter I keep imagining, but sometimes the rain comes down and the air feels cold enough that I can almost pretend otherwise. It reminds me of those evenings when the sky turns dark early, when staying indoors feels much better than going anywhere, and when the thought of Christmas suddenly makes perfect sense. There is something comforting about the combination of cold weather and the anticipation of a holiday that I have always loved.

I am not entirely sure how I will celebrate Christmas this year. I have a feeling it might be much like last year, somewhere in another continent, away from home and the familiar things I usually associate with this time of the year. I suppose I will know when the time comes. There are still things to settle before then, and I don't really want to make too many plans just yet. But the thought of being somewhere else for Christmas has already started to find its way into my mind, and I keep wondering what the days will look like when I finally get there.

I want it to be cosy, as Christmas has always been for me. I want the cold weather, the lights in the evening, the feeling of being indoors while the world outside is quiet and cold. I want those little moments that don't seem particularly special while they are happening but somehow become the things I remember years later. Perhaps a warm room after spending hours outside, a familiar song playing somewhere, or simply sitting down at the end of the day with nowhere else I need to be. I don't think Christmas has to be filled with grand plans to be memorable. Sometimes it is the smallest things that stay with me the longest.

I have always liked this time of the year because it gives me something to look forward to, even when life has been keeping me busy with things that have nothing to do with Christmas. And perhaps that is why I started this tradition in the first place. I want to give myself a little more time to enjoy the feeling before December comes and goes, because somehow the days leading up to Christmas always seem longer in my imagination than they do when I am actually living through them.

I don't know what this year's Christmas will bring, or which little moments I will end up remembering when I look back at it next September. But I hope it will be one of those Christmases that stays with me for a long time. Somewhere cold, somewhere cosy, somewhere far from the ordinary days I have been having lately. And when I finally get there, I hope I will remember to slow down a little, look around, and let myself enjoy being there.

For now, I suppose I will just let the rain fall and the feeling stay a little longer. Christmas is still some time away, but somehow, in my mind, it has already begun.

Labels: Family - Family Guy, motivation