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Sooner
Monday, August 27, 2012 | 8/27/2012 11:27:00 PM |

It’s the 27th of August 2012 and I haven’t called it a day yet. I’ve got so many things to do but they mixed up too much resulting a mess in this brain of mine. I just can’t figure out which should I start first or maybe I just can get the mood to start anything just yet. Listening to the BEP’s Apl song and there’s a slight feeling of homesickness I’m having deep down here. It’s not that I haven’t been home too long but I still can feel the mood in there. Called my mother and it didn’t satisfy me. I need to see her face when I’m talking to her. Been thankful enough mobile phone was invented but still it can’t be compared to when it comes to real talking. The moon is bright somehow. I can barely see it but I know it’s bright - the clouds told me so. Couldn’t see it back at home as it rained too much back there. I just missed it I know. Next time don’t mess shits up.

I was thinking if I were to be at home right now, maybe I will still be playing with Bopy or even watching my cats sleep together (it’s cute to see how my cats get along very well cause that’s rare). Last night before, we have to spend the time in darkness. The switches have to be switched off as the bugs are bugging and it annoyed us. I just missed the moment... not mentioning how I’ve been playing DoTa very well lately (not just yet but I think I’m getting pretty good), it would have been nice playing that game with my other 2 brothers together. I missed the sunrise back at home... Knowing that I’ve seen it once last holiday regrets me more. My morning didn’t exist by the way and I hate myself too much for missing it. I blamed my biological clock since I was obliged to be in the afternoon session and I think that has made me get used to waking up so late. I haven’t been thankful enough lately and this isn’t me. I know there’s something wrong somewhere when I grew up and I should have prevented it. My ego has been growing up so much I can’t handle shits.

I realized I haven’t drunk my tea and it’s been 2 months now. Why the hell am I being such a conservative person! It’s just tea!

I think I should just get myself straight and plan ahead. I’ve had my jealousy and lust too much when I think of my seniors who still have another few months to finish their study. It’s been two years and a half when I told myself to be like them. Next year is going to be mine and just mine. I need time to move faster and be back to black (not black, basic... I just like to use the phrase). I want to forget everything and continue where I left. It would be nicer if I can make this asap.

I’m outside at this veranda eating Vochelle’s chocolate I just bought. I still have this time to enjoy everything before I’ll be back to my college so here I am... smoking... drinking plain water, watching the dogs chase each other and enjoying the night scenes. 2 years after now, everything will be so different – that’s a promise I made to myself. My institute has given me vivid of dark images about being an undergraduates and I heard it’s getting worse back there. I once asked myself why the hell I ran away from the college of matriculation 4 years ago after everything I suffered here. I should have survived there and be in a wider unknown opportunities. Blimey I did that and I think I am still doing it.

Sigh~

Need to stop this ghetto. Should just sleep and be at tomorrow. I miss home too much and hoping to be back there sooner... Yes sooner...

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