“Not everyone gets the same version of me. One person might tell you I'm an amazing beautiful soul. Another person will say I'm a cold-hearted asshole. Believe them both, I act accordingly.”
I don't know who writes this but it's a need to answer before putting yourself into a really committed relationship. Don't get me wrong. I share this because it's a point to ponder to ask ourselves whether we're ready or not... The questions are typical (so much for a skeptical). Note that the questions would include us with our religion. Not enough information to state its source but they're reliable.
Every couple should ask these before considering engagement to be
married. Take some time out to really ponder them properly…
Questions about compatibility
• Is there a spark between you:
o Physically?
o Intellectually?
o Emotionally?
o Spiritually?
o In terms of having
fun together?
• What are the things you have in common?
• Are you best friends?
• Do you disagree on any of these key issues:
o What you want to
do with your lives.
o Where you want to
live.
o Spiritual values.
o Having kids (when
and how many).
o Financial approach
to life.
o Expected roles of
what the man should do and what the woman
should do.
o The role of each
other’s families in the marriage.
Questions that relate to God
(these assume you’re a Christian)
• Do you believe God is calling you to this relationship? If so, what
makes you sure?
• Is God at the center at your relationship? If so, what are the
choices you have made that reflect that decision?
• If you are involved in a church, in what ways can your marriage
benefit the church?
• If you’re a Christian, have you pursued sexual abstinence until
marriage? If you haven’t, are you willing to repent and wait? If you aspire to
abstinence but feel overwhelmed by sexual attraction, are you willing to get
help from mature Christians?
Questions that relate to the
involvement of others
• What do your closest friends and family feel about you being
together?
• Who are the wise spiritual people who you have sought perspective
and accountability from?
• In what ways will marriage be good for you into the future?
• In what ways will marriage to this person help you fulfil your
life’s purpose?
1.Do you understand that marriage means putting
each other before anyone else, especially family members that have a big sway
on our lives? Are you willing to do that?
2.Are you aware of what each other’s families are
like – and are you willing to put up with it for life?
3.Do you build your relationship towards community
or towards isolation?
Questions about problem issues
in our lives
• What is your relationship history? Are there any patterns of
relating in the past that have been negative?
• Do either of you have any emotional baggage, or residue soul-ties,
from previous relationships?
• What is the relational history of your parents? And, if there are
negatives, what have you done to be set free of the pattern of relating they
have modelled to you?
Questions about really knowing
each other
• Are there any areas in your partner’s life that you are hoping will
change once you get married?
• Are you aware of each other’s weaknesses, temptations, and bad
habits? If so, what are they? And are you willing to live with them even if
they do not change?
• Do you ever have conflict? How do you typically act toward each
other in times of conflict? And how do you usually resolve conflict?
• Are there any secrets you are keeping from each other?
• Do you regularly share your innermost thoughts with each other?
Questions about the strength of
your commitment
• Do either of you feel pressurized in any way into getting married?
• What tests/trials has your relationship been through?
• Are you ready to say: “I commit my life to you, through thick and
thin, I will do everything I can to be a blessing to you in every way for the
rest of our lives.”
• If supporting factors (like health, common friends, hobbies,
financial security, physical attractiveness of the other person, the romantic
intensity between you) left, would you still be willing to stay married? In
other words, are there any conditions to keeping your marriage commitment to each
other? What are they?
• Is your relationship based on ‘being in love’ or on ‘choosing to
love’? What is the difference between these two kinds of love, and which is a
marriage to be built on?
• Complete the sentence, ‘Divorce is an acceptable option if …’