“Not everyone gets the same version of me. One person might tell you I'm an amazing beautiful soul. Another person will say I'm a cold-hearted asshole. Believe them both, I act accordingly.”
I haven't been blogging since... I don't even remember when was the last time I posted an entry. It's not that I have been busy I have such a lot of things to be remarked here, I do. I only found it's helpful to share them with my significant other better. Now that I have to crave this on my online sketch wall, this is going to be something I should do.
My last holidays have seemingly came to its end, I became a little bit homesick by the time I arrived here in Tawau. The only words I keep telling to myself is to be patient. There's another few months here before I bid all those farewell and I couldn't hope but to meet that. I'm tired and it all ends today (realized this when I was in the wagon - that's what they call the transportation mean). As usual, my anxiety became worse when it comes to going back here. There's so much to think about on my way back. Thoughts keep lingering here and there but they all ended with a short sigh. I know I'm never going to take this road again neither are those same old buses I usually waited long for.
Taking buses to come here will usually cost me 10 hours of my day while wagon came short with only 6 hours. Here's something to share, I've experienced a lot due to the eagerness in me to travel alone. It's usually more comfortable cause I don't have to take care of someone as much as I dislike people asking me questions during my moody day. It's usually solemn when I entered any means of transportation mentioned above so yeah, I'm a lone ranger.
I started taking buses late because my father used to work a few miles away. We usually traveled together and he would always fetch me here before going to his workplace. My first tour was smooth cause I traveled with two of my seniors. Plus, it wasn't still a prison here. Although it was all a rush, I thanked my father for being so helpful. Anyhow, next I remembered was in January 2009, the blue big 4 wheeled thing broke (something exploded) and we have to pull over for about an hour in the middle of nowhere. Due to that, I arrived late here and still I have to walk a thousand miles to this place. I managed to attend my lectures though - LOL that. There's one late at night when the conductor mistakenly took my destination wrong. I was dropped another few meters from the bus stop and have to walk longer steps to come here. I wasn't even mad at that time. The farther this place is, the longer times it needs for me to be here early.
Another experience I could still remember is when I arrived late here and still I managed to have my breakfast outside with some of the lecturers. By time I joined their conversation, I grabbed a few dramas happened between them inside. I didn't ask much but it's enough for me to catch a few of them to be avoided. That was the one thing I decided to back myself off being here.
My journey going back to my hometown has always been the same except last March of 2010 where I came home late due to some problems I had with the police department and of course the state registration position. There's this time back in July 2011 where I unusually came home extending 2 days of holidays into a longer one. On the same year, I took the risk to be here again knowing that I have a test to be seated the day after. That's one crazy act to be memorized although I still did the same last May. LOL. 2011 would always be the toughest for me. By the very beginning of the year, I left all the buses in front of me knowing that I'm not finished with my holidays. My anxiety became worse I let my hair cut bald and I escaped a week of lectures. All the remaining months after became harder and harder as I became more sure I'm having the burned out symptoms... (to be continued)
There's also this incident when I fell asleep and woke up being in the middle of the city. Thank God it was still early I took the nearest taxi to arrive here in my hostel. The incident costed me money and I regretfully blame myself for no good. I wouldn't forget what happened last March too. I've bought my ticket with the intention to go home early but something happened during our way back from school. Our rented car was locked with the keys inside and I have a few hours left to catch my bus. That's one crazy unfortunate event.
Travelling by wagon means, I don't know how to say this. It started this year as I have another place I needed to go. There isn't anything much to write about cause all the travels went smoothly as I need them to be. I've always been the luckiest when it comes to these transportation - quote unquote from my significant other. The one thing I couldn't remember is when I took this very friendly driver to go along with. We talked and talked and talked not realizing we have already arrived. I still arrived late here in college due to the delays he deliberately made.. Today has also been a long journey. Since it's my last, I accumulated all the memories I could gather and decided to conclude them here in this entry.
Knowing that I will always reflect what have I done for my previous holidays, I've learned something new about myself. You see, when it comes to travelling by land transportation, the only entertainment we can get is from the songs they played in their car. I know songs played gradually affect my reflection I didn't even bother listening to my own. I love the sentimental values reminisced when I listened to them back. Some would do me good, other's wouldn't but I cherished all the thoughts I could get from them - better or worse. Somehow they made me who I am today.
I've experienced a lot bittersweet moments thereafter. Still these are the only things I could barely remember. It has been a very interesting 5 years of a journey and I'm glad to end it calmly. I'm a little homesick but all the motivations I was given from my dearest family and love of my life, I think I can manage these few months afterward. Somehow the end is on it's way and without realizing it, we may intersect in no time. Looking forward to that.
P/s: I'm sorry for bad grammars. I'll correct them later. I'm just tired and sleepy. Good night people. Good night Boil Boil