HomesickEric

“Teacher, do you not care if we perish?” In his homily during the worldwide moment of prayer that Pope Francis led this evening, he reflected on how Coronavirus has united us in our common humanity, as brothers and sisters. “We have realized that we are on the same boat, all of us fragile and disoriented, but at the same time important and needed, all of us called to row together,” he said. He used the image of the disciples on the boat, caught by an unexpected storm, and Jesus asleep in the stern. When they call on the Lord, the disciples prove their faith, and yet Jesus rebukes them for their lack of faith. Let us try to understand. In what does the lack of the disciples’ faith consist, as contrasted with Jesus’ trust? They had not stopped believing in him; in fact, they called on him. But we see how they call on him: “Teacher, do you not care if we perish?” (v. 38).  Do you not care : they think that Jesus is not interested in them, does not care about them. But...

March has never agreed with me. I don't really want to say that this year but it is... and during these final days of me pushing 20, I could never imagine it to get even worse. I'm not really writing to tell the world that I am the victim of a toxic mind. I am not. I'm here because this needed to be heard... too. My self-esteem is dying. I feel like a worthless person who doesn't deserve anything. My anxiety is at its peak and the only thing I could do about it is to brush it off but I can't. My mind keeps belittling me for everything I'm trying to say, to think, to write. If you would ask... Everything, EVERYTHING is wrong with me. I keep telling myself to restructure my self-being but my body is just too exhausted to even do that. I'm exhausted. These days has been the darkest ever... and putting a smile up on my face is a lie. I'm once again lost. I don't know where to go. I'm lost. I need help.